The Ways in Which I’m Not Perfect. And the Ways In Which I Am.

On May 16, 2014

I had a powerful session with a client the other day (let’s call her Chloe) that rocked both of our worlds.  We’ve danced around this topic before but never dove in with as much honesty and vulnerability as we did that particular day.

Chloe is also a health coach.  She had recently embarked on a health coach stalking binge (i.e. she googled a ton of other health coaches) and was suffering from a major case of comparer’s remorse.

She did what a lot of us do, she dove into social media and she bought the hype.  She actually let herself believe that what she saw on social media was 100% true and instantly started feeling terrible about herself.

The thing is, social media is just the highlights reel.  No health coaches ever  tweet about being hungover, over worked or eating that overly-glutenous cupcake.  We all just want to put our best face forward.

The thought is that we’re inspiring people, but the reality is that we’re making people feel bad that they don’t live up to an unrealistically perfect standard of health.  

As a coach, I do whatever it takes to help my clients feel amazing.  And what Chloe needed was the truth.  I think we can all use a healthy dose of it, so I’m starting now, with some major transparency.  And I invite you all to join me.

perfect.

Here are the ways in which I am definitely not even close to perfect…

 
1.  I always have typos in my blogs. I like big picture projects or small picture, but not both at the same time.  I’m 33, own 2 businesses, work with 2 organic farms and my mom still calls me to tell me when I need to fix something in my writing.

2.  My stomach is not flat.  Not even close.  And it probably never will be.  Its soft like a baby’s thigh.  I love baby thighs.

3.  My bedroom is always messy.  People say “clean bed, clean head” but I  just don’t have any qualms about getting into an unmade bed.  Similarly I always have clothes on my floor.  I actually find getting dressed easier when everything is in a pile.  I come up with cooler outfits and can see that certain things things go together that I never would have paired if they were folded up, and hidden away in drawers.

4.  Some months my parents have to help me with my finances.  Until this point, I’ve only told that to my most trusted confidants.  You’re welcome to judge me.  I judge it too.  That’s just another way I’m not perfect, I judge myself.

5.  Since becoming a health coach I’ve gone up a size.  It’s weird and annoying but I’ve come to realize this is just my natural constitution.  Instead of dieting and punishing my body, I’ve chosen the path of least resistance and chosen to not only accept, but (gasp!) love my natural curves.

6.  I only wash my hair once a week.  Why?  Because if you’ve ever complimented it, I’m on day 5.

7.  I don’t work out regularly.  My version of hell is jumping around in front of a mirror, wearing spandex, in a room full of people.  Therefore gyms just don’t do it for me.  I like to workout outside, but since this winter was a brutal biatch I just didn’t work out that much.  Oh, except for the two weeks I did this and the times I went on a Beyonce-fueled dance marathon.

8. I fight with the people I love most.  Mom, Dad, Sage, Dennis: I’m sorry.

9.  I don’t feel physically amazing all day every day.  Some times I’m depressed.  I still get stomach aches.  Occasionally I don’t get enough sleep.  Even though I eat a damn good diet and cook 90% of my meals, sometimes I just feel like crap.  On social media all my colleagues are always drinking green juices, working out and practicing self care.  But I’ve drank tequila, eaten cake and finished a whole pizza with most of them. So, again: highlights reel, not reality.

 

The Ways in Which I’m Perfect

1. I accept all of these things.  I know that they don’t make me weak or unlovable.  They make me who I am: a quirky, honest, creative, passionate, trusting, loving, curious, adventurous, nurturing, fun-loving woman.

 

How are you perfectly imperfect?  What do you put out on social media that isn’t entirely true?  Please share in the comments so we can all get real and start feeling better about our beautifully imperfect lives.

13 Responses to “The Ways in Which I’m Not Perfect. And the Ways In Which I Am.”

  • wow so authentic and real! love this and you so much!

  • Thanks for keeping it real! I’m sharing your posts with my fellow IIN grads in our FB group.

    • Awesome Melanie! I think every health coach should be sharing things like this with their clients. I encourage you and everyone in your group to write your own version.

  • This was SO good! You go girl! I’m an aspiring health coach myself but of course I’m not going to say no to a fine shot of tequila on vacation nor pass up on bread pudding, ever. I can get a serious comparison hangover looking at my idols social media feeds, so it takes a brave effort to say I’m right where I need to be and only I can make my dreams happen. Brings me right back to it! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Kristen, I’m so glad this resonated with you! It’s just really important to remember that we’re all human. Anyone who lives their life on a crazy restricted diet is probably blocking some of life’s other pleasures, which is a real shame!

      It’s important to not only indulge in wonderful things like bread pudding and tequila (also my favorite), but embrace those things that might not seem perfect by other people’s standards, but that make you YOU, and therefore perfect.

  • This is such a great post and I loved your honesty! I think people grow closest to one another when they admit their weaknesses, not from a point of negativity but positivity. Because we are all have “flaws” and they make us who we are! I think you conveyed that perfectly in this post!

    I actually touched on my own issues with self-esteem early last month.

    http://caseythecollegeceliac.blogspot.com/2014/04/self-love-with-celiac.html

    • Casey, Thank you so much for sharing your powerful story! I agree, it can be challenging to share our weaknesses, especially when we are trying to empower others. But no one is perfect! It takes courage to be vulnerable and in doing that, we show others that they’re not alone.

      And that’s all we want, right? To not feel alone.

  • We can also turn this around and tell ourselves that we are perfect as we are. Our “imperfections” are actually what make us all unique. To think that every human that has ever walked the face of the earth is/was unique is quite amazing.

    What gets us down is the comparison. Wayne Dyer devoted a lot of space in his first book Your Erroneous Zones to the topic of comparing ourselves to others.

    Nice web site and I am glad I found it.

  • this was awesome. i love you.

  • How could you fight with Dennis? That one is hard to believe, haha. This is an awesome post and definitely makes me think how perfect I am too.

  • That was totally cute and funny and yes, I laughed out loud. Thank you for sharing! And thank you for being a model of how to be perfect in the most important way – accepting ones self. Love it!

  • THANK YOU!! I thought you were amazing before now I know that to be the case. I tend to feel guilty if I haven’t been as good as I should’ve been or can’t figure out why I don’t sometimes look and feel as good as others that follow a similar lifestyle. You’ve opened it up, shown your realness and said its ok to just be human!! xxx 🙂

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